A Reddit user, identified as The_Doeberman, recently shared his dilemma about naming his unborn son after his wife’s deceased grandfather, John. The user, whose last name is Doe, expressed concerns about potential issues with the name, particularly due to its association with anonymity.
“My wife is six months pregnant and wants to name our future son after her grandfather, who passed away from cancer in September. His name was John,” the husband explained on the AITA (Am I The Asshole) forum.
While he admired his wife’s grandfather and acknowledged their close bond, he refused to consider the name John, even as a middle name. He argued that the name “John Doe” could lead to significant problems in the future, such as difficulties with job applications or identity verification. “Nobody’s going to believe ‘John Doe’ is his real name,” he said.
The wife dismissed her husband’s concerns as exaggerated, arguing that he was making a mountain out of a molehill. However, the husband’s fears are rooted in the name’s historical use. “John Doe” is commonly used as a placeholder for unidentified or anonymous individuals, often in legal or medical contexts, which could indeed pose challenges for the child.
The origin of the name “John Doe” dates back to the UK, where it was used as a generic name for any unknown person. In the US, it has similarly been used to refer to unidentified individuals, with “Jane Doe” serving the same purpose for females.
Seeking advice, the husband turned to Reddit, where users largely supported his position. Many commenters agreed that the name could create problems, suggesting alternatives. One commenter advised considering variations of the name John from other languages, such as “Eoin,” which is the Irish version of John.
Another commenter bluntly criticized the name, saying, “I’d feel uncomfortable having a kid named something that essentially means ‘found dead in a park with no ID.’”
Some commenters highlighted potential legal and practical issues associated with the name. “A lifetime of getting stopped by TSA, job applications being questioned, and other complications could arise,” one user pointed out. They suggested using the grandfather’s middle name as a compromise.
Ultimately, while honoring her grandfather is meaningful, many—including the husband and numerous Reddit users—believe that “John Doe” carries too much negative connotation. There are other ways the wife can pay tribute to her grandfather without imposing potential difficulties on their child.
